Dr. Yarnell's two CDs for children are here. Click on the title to order. |
Dr. Yarnell has two CDs to help children develop positive self-esteem. One is a visualization CD and one is an affirmation CD. |
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BUILD YOUR CHILD'S SELF-ESTEEM - PART 2 |
Thomas D. Yarnell, Ph. D. Clinical Psychologist |
Here are some more techniques you can use to build positive self-esteem in your child. Building positive self-esteem in children will have life-long benefits for them. They will grow up happier, healthier and more successful. |
9. Remind your child to think positive thoughts by putting notes around the house with smiley faces drawn on them. |
10. Say "I love you" and mean it, everyday. Children need to hear it often, especially when it seems like they don't deserve it. When things are going badly, keep in mind that it is their behavior you don't like, not them. Hearing it is powerful but written reminders are also good. Slip a note with "I love you, Mom/Dad" into a coat pocket or lunch bag. It won't be long before you start to see some positive changes. |
11. Positive Word Exercise. How do you want your child to feel? Happy, confident, calm, peaceful, smart, hard-working, cooperative, etc. Cut pieces of colored paper and write each word on a separate piece and then put up around the house or the child's room. This is also great for the classroom. Each week, change the arrangement of signs. These words become silent reminders to your children of what is expected and how they can be. |
12. Teach your child to say and do good deeds. It builds good character and produces positive feelings within the child. Twice a week, have your child select someone they know who they will say something nice to and someone else they know who they are going to do something nice for. It makes no difference how small or trivial as long as it's something nice. Follow through with your child to make sure it was completed. Each week, try to help your child pick two different people from the friends, relatives and schoolmates she/he knows. |
13. When your child is feeling down, help your child write a letter to a make believe child who is having a bad day also. Let your child give the other child advice on how to feel good. Many children will discover that they need to take their own advice. As they write the letter, their negative feelings will begin to lift. Only give as much help as is really needed. The best results will come as the child does the mental and emotional exploring. |
14. Teach your child anger control. Building self-control can be a major source of pride for your child. I'll be addressing anger management, in length, in a future newsletter article but for now, here is one technique that works at all ages. Anger is a right brain response. If you teach your child to do a left brain behavior as soon as the anger is felt, the anger starts to go away. It is an automatic response. The quickest left brain activity you can teach a child, or adult, is to count to 10, or 100, or to whatever it takes. The old advice of counting to 10 when you felt angry works and now we have the scientific evidence as to why. |
15. Once a day, have your child stand in front of a mirror, smile and give herself/himself a big hug and say "I love you. You are a good person." This is a good idea for a quick pick-me-upper for you, too. |
16. Have your child write a name poem and then post it where it can be seen often. A name poem starts with "I am" and then under it go his/her name, one letter per line, and finishing with the last name. For Mary Jones, it would look like: I am M - - agnificent A - - ble R - - espectful Y - - our friend Jones The first letter is used to make a positive description of the child. |
You now have 16 techniques you can use to build a strong, positive self-esteem in your child. Use the techniques that work best for you. Not all techniques are appropriate for all age groups. Trial and error will be your easiest way to find the ones that work best. |
Copyright 2003 - 2008 Thomas D. Yarnell, Ph. D. All rights reserved |
Dr. Yarnell has two CDs to help children develop positive self-esteem. One is a visualization CD and one is an affirmation CD. |
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Dr. Yarnell's two CDs for children are here. Click on the title to order. |
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